Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
