Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
