can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
