I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
being pregnant is like rehab
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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