Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
