Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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