I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
