flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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