There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
