Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
