he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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