I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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