my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's like heaven, but drunker
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
