Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
