I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
