So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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