if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
