Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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