He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
