Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
