Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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