party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
