While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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