You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
