No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize