I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
