he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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