we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We need to get me chipped asap
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
