His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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