I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
