the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
