So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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