Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
