all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
