you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
