I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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