Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
