Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
