they need to just BURY HIM!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
