he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
