you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
