we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize