If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drake has all the answers
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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