It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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