Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pants 0. Shit 1.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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