I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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