I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize