If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize