pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
