there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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