please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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