that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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