you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
