I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
