girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
