OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
