dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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