My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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