from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
