U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
