your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sext me about skeletons
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
