FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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