AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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