My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
