covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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