But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
