I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
