So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
